I see from the paper that you are still trying to cause trouble by name-calling and general rabble-rousing. Do you feel that your mission in life is to prevent progress in our community? Why did you come here to Topinabee? And, are you really an American? Your brother Neil is Canadian? Can you prove who you are?
If you are so concerned about Topinabee, then why don’t you do something positive instead of complaining about the good works of others? Name one thing you have done that is constructive and good for the people of Topinabee and Mullett Township. Taking pictures in the men’s restroom does not count as a good thing…in many places, you might get in trouble for invading others privacy (or worse). What are you doing in the restroom anyway? Are you by yourself? Are you and your friends staging these pictures before you take them?
Why don’t you pitch in and clean the restroom yourself, instead of moaning about it? In a small town, neighbors pitch in and help when they see something that needs to be done. Mary Ann has personally cleaned the restrooms when it’s been needed and the workers weren’t on duty. Another point: don’t you realize that you could be held liable if you see a child climbing a rock wall and you do nothing to warn them — and they then are hurt?
How about that great picture you took of the snow blocking the sidewalk? Sure shows how Mullett Township is letting us down, right? WRONG — after you took the picture the snow was removed. Kind of like taking a picture of a road under construction and saying it’s not safe…of COURSE it’s not safe until all of the work is completed. That’s why those orange barrels stay up so long after we think the work’s done.
Could you write something about yourself? Where were you born, what jobs have you held (how about a resume?), and where did you come from when you dropped into Topinabee? Does your brother visit from Canada? Can you cross the border legally, and come back legally? You know, you could use a visit to GITMO…drinking Ensure and dropping those 50 extra pounds. You’ll feel like a new man. And you can’t even be waterboarded anymore. What’s not to like?
Carl, there’s a new section in the grocery store for you. It’s called the fruit and vegetable section. You can get the same crunch from a celery stick that you can from those snack chips. Just looking out for your health there buddy.
Have you ever tried exercising anything besides your mouth?
It’s the holidays…can’t you say anything nice? And didn’t your mom teach you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything?